4/04/2009

Break-Ins: a Hot Trans-Pacific Trend

I live in a rather subdued and safe neighborhood, and the apartment complex is watched at all hours by a group of security guards. In the past three years since I moved back to Seoul, I never worried about open windows--until yesterday, that is.

The first thing I noticed when I confusedly stepped through the unlocked front door was the open box of my forgotten, unused Japanese sauce dishes on the kitchen table. The unfamiliar sight of those dishes was instantly followed by the thunderous realization that something was amiss. Thunderous. Then, half my body still out the door, I saw that all the drawers and boxes I could see were open--at least partly. You never know how many big and small boxes you live with, when they are all stored neatly out of sight. Shoe boxes, plate boxes, photo boxes, jewelry boxes, and even boxed presents and gifts that you lay aside for future use. They were all open, and things were all out. When I calmed down a bit later, I was actually quite impressed with the thoroughness of the burglars, who went through all the drawers and even looked into the few unused perfume boxes in the closet without taking the perfumes.

Thankfully, the several policemen who came to "the crime scene" were very nice and efficient. One of them was a Crime Scene Investigator, and explained to me how the intruders got in, pointing at the bent bar in one of the windows and the shoe marks left on the windowsills and the floor. While the investigation was going on, they did a good job of patiently comforting and reassuring me who was worried beyond description that the intruders might repeat their visit now that they learned this was a one-woman household. They told me where to call for a quick installation of extra-security window locks and even gave me a few alarm bells that I can attach to doors and windows. These alarm bells have sensors so they will scare and deafen intruders, in lieu of Randolph's roaring, when windows are forced open. Later, two young, sprightly police officers came back twice to see how I was doing.

Most of us earthlings are affected by the extended global financial crises, and we are suffering from the new economy of no economic policies at all (except for "the-rich-get-richer" policy) in this part of the world as well. I had heard of the increasing number of break-ins in recent news, but I never thought those breaker-inners should redistribute MY wealth--or my lack thereof. And I hardly knew whether to be angry or sorry. When I asked the police about the possiblity of repeated intrusion, I was secretly afraid that the extent of my "wealth" offended the burglars and that they might want to take revenge on me for their wasted labor. I only hope that the few trinkets they bothered to take would remind them that most ordinary people should be spared from their grand masterplan of wealth redistribution.

Economic concerns, however, may be a less immediate issue than personal safety. I have an alarm bell on my bedroom door now. While putting it on the door, I asked myself: Will it keep me safe, let alone my wealth? It's supposed to help, of course. But if I ever hear that alarm bell go off in the middle of the night, it means I'm in the presence of an intruder in my own bedroom. This is a strange idea to entertain. Here I am, trying to use something the use of which I should NEVER EVER benefit from. It seems, in the end, nothing can ever keep us safe. All the same, I also had the extra-security window locks installed ASAP as the police recommended. Am I safe, now? I choose to go with the illusion that I am. At least for now.

4/03/2009

Traffic Can Triple Heart Attack Risk

Make sure your vessels are free of plaque before you take a bike ride Angelenos...thank god I perfected FTL travel...it's the only way LA is manageable!

http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20090313/traffic-triples-heart-attack-risk

Break-Ins: The hot new job

As our economy continues to unfurl like a evil poisonous flower into the "new economy" of rampant unemployment, packs of wild dogs galumphing through the streets, and the ever more manic "social networking" that may just possibly hook one up with a job some day, BREAK-INS will become a more popular and horrible way of wealth redistribution.

I myself have none of the skills necessary to join in on the break-in phenomenon, except for what I have gleaned from movies and television. I don't think I would be capable of making my way Mission Impossible style through all those invisible red laser lines. If only there were some kind of underground economy version of the Learning Center that offered "Break-In 101."

Our Korean correspondent suffered a break-in just yesterday. She described it as:

"All the drawers and boxes in the apartment were turned upside down when I came home, and there was a serious CSI situation for a while, with the police officers taking shoeprints etc. I just finished cleaning things up. Fortunately I had nothing worth stealing, and didn't lose much. My youngest brother came over to stay here tonight. I can't wait to fall asleep--will update tomorrow."

Hopefully once she has the peace of mind, she can post about it here.

I've suffered two break-ins in my time.

The first was a couple of decades ago in Highland Park.

My girlfriend of the time and me returned to our rented house to discover that everything had (as above) been emptied out onto the floor. All 16 of my CDs had been stolen. They seemed very valuable at the time. They had gone through my non-CD music as well. To my dismay, they had rejected all of it save the Prince stuff. My girlfriend's jewelry was safe. I had thought myself very clever one day when I found a moveable ceiling board and put her jewelry above it. But I never anticipated that it would ever be needed.

The weirdest thing was the discovery of the item that pointed to how they entered the house. All the doors were still locked. Only the tiny bathroom window had been left open. Once I put all my shirts back in the drawers and closet, I discovered that I had acquired a new shirt: a small boy's shirt. He must have climbed through the little window to let the others in. And found a shirt of mine that he had liked better, I suppose. I never figured out which shirt was so alluring.

You would think that I would have learned my lesson: keep all the windows locked.

But who learns lessons?

So some years later, we were living in an apartment on the west side and had lazily slid into the habit of leaving our windows open on hot summer nights.

I woke up one night needing to go to the bathroom. I was naked and I wasn't wearing my glasses. As I entered the hallway, I could see the blurry figure of a male in the living room.

Adrenalin took over and directed me into some primeval and foolish behavior. I rushed toward the figure and literarily ROARED. Yes indeed I made a huge ROAR. Who knew I could ROAR?

Well it must have scared the shit out of the intruder. For instead of stabbing me with the kitchen knifes which were not too far from where he was standing or pulling out a gun and shooting me in the eye, he seemed to instantly leap backwards out the window he had entered. It was an amazing sight, like something out of a heavily CG'd superhero movie.

I kept moving forward driven by an adrenalin wave and looked out the window to see the perp doing a freak-out dash through the parking lot.

The adrenalin was still surging through my now clothed body when the cops arrived. But by then it had turned into feeling very very cold and an inability to stop shaking.

As in the previous incident, there were items left behind. The intruder had made off with my wallet. I was fortunate that he dropped it at the far end of the parking lot, sans money, but still holding IDs, credit cards, etc.

But during his American Panic Attack, he had also left something else behind, something just outside the window -- his SHOES.

I guess one of the things that you learn in Break-In 101 is to enter the sleeping household in your stocking feet. So he had gained my money, but had been forced to go back to the mean streets running like hell in his sock feet. There was some measure of victory in that. And I even felt some pity for him.

I was a little astonished at my own behavior. Couldn't I have just shut and locked the bedroom door and called 911? No, for some reason, my wild untrammeled self felt the need to run at the possibly armed and dangerous intruder and ROAR.

So learn from this. If you're going to fuck with me, wear earplugs.

4/01/2009

3/30/2009

because apparently there aren't enough common diseases for me to live in fear of...

here are 11 baffling medical conditions.

my personal favorite is cold uritcaria - you break out in welts and bumps when you are exposed to cold temperatures. i occasionally break out in hives for no apparent reason. the next time it happens i'll have to check that i haven't just been in a walk-in freezer or stuck my hand in cold running water. if this is my problem, i may need to knit more sweaters.

3/27/2009

Creepy Canadian workplace safety ads

Canada terrifying its workers into workplace safety, with some dark humour along the way. Damn!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwCyVku1HvI

The Hysterical Pregnancy: Internet Panic

So last night I went out to eat and ordered steamed greens, topped with a mountain of sweet potatoes. Lots of colorful, vitamin-y food. I get home and start wondering "I wonder how much Folic acid kale has? I bet it's really healthy!" so I Google it. Pretty soon I am linking to all these sites about what (not) to eat during pregnancy. Then I stumble on this site, which theorizes that eating sweet potatoes may cause Vitamin A toxicity and lead to miscarriage.

In fact, according to this site, eating just one sweet potato can cause a TOXIC vitamin overload, your baby will DIE, it's all your fault and if only you had chosen Tater Tots instead of sweet potato fries you would be a truly fulfilled woman. http://prenatal-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/nutrition_for_the_first_trimester and:
http://prenatal-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/sweet_potatoes_may_be_harmful_during_pregnancy

Ok, you know what? Our women's studies professors were right. Pregnancy has been over-medicalized and scrutinized in order to take our reproductive power away from us and put it in the hands of the patriarchy. Not much has changed in the last 50 years, except that nowadays the patriarchy uses pink backdrops and hires a lot of female writers. Women's magazines and websites are whipping us into a panic about our relationships, pregnancy and parenthood … so much that we are unable to listen to our own bodies and make reasonable decisions without second-guessing ourselves. We've got to stop the hysteria!

3/26/2009

The Marler Blog


If you're interested in outbreaks of food-borne illness and litigation--and WHO ISN'T?--I highly recommend the Marler Blog. Here's a description of the author, attorney William Marler:

Bill has focused his practice on representing individuals, mostly children, in litigation resulting from E. coli, Salmonella, Shigella, hepatitis A, and other food-contamination cases, and has represented victims of nearly every large foodborne illness outbreak across the country. He has represented individuals against BJ's Wholesale Club, Chili's, Chi-Chi's, ConAgra, Dole, Excel, Golden Corral, KFC, Sheetz, Sizzler, Supervalu, and Wendy's, as well as other food companies and restaurants.

It's like a Who's Who list of restaurants NEVER to visit and food brands NEVER to buy. Thanks, Bill!

His blog is super-lively and there are scores of sub-blogs, like the Mad Cow blog; the Listeria blog; the Norovirus blog; and the Cyclospora blog.

Truly, I recommend:

http://www.marlerblog.com/

3/22/2009

Famished pack of dogs maul German tourist in Italy


I do not want to have my face or any other part of my body "disfigured" by a pack of mistreated animals while I am on vacation. Them poor dogs, too.

3/17/2009

On Acute Subdural Hematomas


Acute subdural hematomas are a type of terrible traumatic brain injury. Any time that I've bumped my head in my life, the catastrophizer in me immediately believes that I have a subdural hematoma. This fear began when I hit my head on a can recycler at work a few years ago. Blood running down my face, I sought the advice of a a co-worker who had trained as a paramedic. "How does it look?" I asked anxiously as he rooted around my scalp.

"I think it's just a bump," he replied. "But if you start to have a headache or feel drowsy, you might want to head to the ER. I've seen even slight bumps turn out to be subdural hematomas, and the person's up and walking around and saying they're fine, and 12 hours later they're in a coma or dead."

And so it began. The worst part about a subdural hematoma is that it can have a fairly slow onset, so the person might seem fine initially after the injury. While acute hematomas are most common with severe injury or trauma, this isn't always the case, as my paramedic friend pointed out. Even a slight fall can damage the veins and cause a rupture. And finally, acute hematomas have a very high mortality rate. All of this equals my worst nightmare.

Today, when I read the news about the actress Natasha Richardson, it brought my hematoma fears front and center. The story as it's unfolding is: she was skiing on a beginner's slope, she fell, it didn't seem very serious and she seemed fine for an hour or so until she began to complain of a headache. Now, she's in critical condition.

While I'm not sure we're talking acute subdural hematoma, I'm guessing. And of course I'm wishing her well.

3/16/2009

Stocks are Up, Prions Still Misfolded

There was a news report just released that iron contributes to prion-disease-associated neurotoxicity. I have no doubt this insight will be discussed at length at the forthcoming PRION 2009 conference. Who wants to go with me? It's in Greece this year and it costs this inscrutable amount which I'm willing to pay: 380,00 €

http://www.prion2009.com/

3/15/2009

North Korean Rocket Launch?

A space rocket launch, or a missile experiment? This is a repetition of an old story, but it is also a new story each time. Of course, the US and ROK had to conduct the biggest ever mock-war joint military operation just a few inches off the coast of North Korea with all kinds of man-of-wars and state-of-the-art mass killing machines, while N.K is playing with the space rocket/missile threat. As the super conservative, super neoliberal South Korean government makes North Korea increasingly hostile to everyone and everything, tension is building up; and even South Koreans who are normally quite accumstomed to this kind of "face off" are getting antsy. The media constantly talk about how N.K.'s new & advanced rockets may be able to fly across the Pacific and reach the US west coast. As if, really.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/13/world/asia/13korea.html?_r=1&scp=8&sq=north%20korea%20missile&st=cse

3/14/2009

Thank You, President Obama


For finally doing something about food safety!

Read about it on my new favorite blog:

http://obamafoodorama.blogspot.com/

3/13/2009

Beware of Public Restroom Soap

From The Associated Press:

Mar 13th, 2009 | MONTGOMERY, Ala. -- The Alabama Department of Transportation is keeping the Interstate 10 welcome center in Baldwin County closed until it gets test results on a suspicious substance found in a soap dispenser. Department spokesman Tony Harris said Friday the department is waiting on tests as a precaution.

The center was closed Monday because of an unusual odor in the men's restroom and because the liquid soap in a dispenser in that bathroom had an unusual color.

The center's attendants saw doctors as a precaution, but Harris said no problems were found.

The center averages 840 vehicles stopping each day.


Lucky for me, I don't travel to Alabama, and while I do wash my hands after using the bathroom, I don't use that nasty, nuclear pink restroom soap. I try not to touch anything with my bare hands. I probably use a dozen of those scratchy paper towels per trip - one to open the stall door, one to turn on the faucet, one to get more paper towels, etc. I feel bad that I'm wasting so much paper, but I guess my personal hygiene and protection ranks above my love for the planet.

I knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

I'm Disappointed in Switzerland

I've been considering relocating to an "uncooperative tax haven" but now that Switzerland's caved, Andorra, Liechtenstein, Austria and Luxembourg have all thrown in the towel as well.

Looks like it'll have to be Monaco:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7941717.stm


3/12/2009

Solid security

For starters, here is a strange little number that someone sent me. It's funny that something from so long ago that is supposed to be happy and gay seems now so imbued with foreboding (the haunting screech of the horn section) and outright creepiness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mVpGmoES3w

On to emergency preparedness. I am wondering who this colouring activity is being given to:
http://www.emergencymanagementontario.ca/stellent/idcplg/webdav/Contribution%20Folders/emo/documents/26348-emrg-survkit32.pdf

"If an emergency happens in your community, it may take emergency workers
some time to reach you. You should be prepared to take care of yourself and
your family for a minimum of 72 hours."

I feel dumb going to buy 3 days of water at Sobey's. I think if I had kids, I'd feel different. But maybe it doesn't make me a survivalist to think about these things. Look at how prepared Canadians are: http://safecanada.ca/link_e.asp?category=4&topic=186.

Panic Attack: Think Global, Act Local

Who told me to relaunch the blog? Dr. Home Air, that's who. He's the expert behind my $5 home radon test. And what is radon? According to the EPA, radon is:

'a cancer-causing, radioactive gas. You can't see radon. And you can't smell it or taste it. But it may be a problem in your home.'
Colorless, odorless, and responsible for thousands of deaths from lung cancer each year. Now you're speaking my language!

With the world economy in freefall, 2009 is proving to be the most panic-inducing year yet. So what can you do about it? For starters, test for radon. It may not prevent the collapse of world markets, but at least you'll know where you stand at home:

http://www.drhomeair.com/